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Monday, June 22nd, 2009
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10:56 pm - DDR tourney
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| Sunday, July 20th, 2008
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10:56 pm - Theres only us, theres only this!
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We begin on a warm Spring Day, with me, Aldrich, my brother Brennard, my friend Harold and his friend Amy. We are in front of the Nederlander Theatre waiting for the Rush to begin. We are hoping to win tickets for our favorite Broadway Show, Rent. It's hot, I've been running around all day and I'm a little irritated, but everyone hushes and it begins...
Smile!
Sorry I couldn't help it. It just seemed a great way to start this LJ post. Yes that is how the saga of me in Rent started though. Now the rest of the story!
It did start with us rushing to get Rent tickets on April 26th 2008, which Brennard once again won. His record on Rushing is phenomenal. I'm convinced it has to do with his shitty hand writing. Any way I saw Rent for what was the 7th time that night. Harold and his friend Amy hadn't seen it yet, and since it was closing I figured it would be the right show to see, especially since I know how to get cheap tickets. We saw the show and the cast was on that night. It was the last night I saw Tamayra Grey perform and the first time I saw Adam Kantor perform. It was good and they had a lot of energy and excitement that night. Anyway after the show was over, they had us sit down and explained to us that they are part of an organization that helps raises money for AIDS research. The group is called Broadway Cares. Well they were holding a silent auction that had several prizes and that all the winning bids would be donated towards a great cause. One of the prizes was a walk on role in the show, so I placed a bid. I wanted to help out this cause, and I also hoped I would win.
...about a week later...
I was home waiting for my parents to come home from the Philippines. My brother and sister went to pick them up from the airport that night. Since I came home late that day I figured I'd stay home, work out and try to get things together a little before they arrived. In the middle of my workout, I get a call from a NY number. I was a little pissed because I thought it was work. Lo and behold, it was the director of Rent. He asked me if my bid was serious. I of course said, yes! He then congratulated me on being in Rent! I was so speechless. I didn't know how to react. I guess he was hoping for a little more excitement, but I was just so stunned, I had no idea what to think. He gave me a few items to look out for and said the next person to contact me would be the producer. He said good night and we ended our conversation. Shortly after, Brennard and Alex arrived. So after my welcoming my parent’s home, I told my siblings. Man, I've never seen Alex so happy in her life, she was beyond ecstatic. Brennard as well, I think all 3 of us just couldn't believe it. Now was the hardest part of all this.
... 2 and a half torturous weeks pass...
Still no word from the production company. I was going crazy, getting nervous that this was some elaborate hoax to fuck with me. Then my sister calls me on a Monday morning, right before lunch. An envelope had arrived from the Production Company for the Nederlander Theatre. It was the official paper congratulating and asking for several details from me. I felt so light headed. It was done; I'm officially going to be in Rent at this point. So I emailed the production company the moment I got home. A few days later the producer calls me to personally congratulate me and we discussed a few things, like the date of my show, special requests and tickets. His name was Nick Kaledin. He was a nice man and was very helpful. We talked a few more times over the course of a week nailing out details, including getting my brother and sister backstage to see the show. They were super excited I made the effort and they were beyond thrilled to get to see Rent from behind the scenes. Well I was going on vacation after this ,so I figure I could relax and practice while I was traveling around the country. Before I left though I had sent out an email asking how many tickets everyone wanted for my show.
...2 weeks of vacations pass on...
Funny, I was very relaxed during vacation, except for the whole organizing the tickets for my show. For some reason, some people thought that they would tell me how to do things instead of answering my questions. It was ok though. After much stress, I got things together and organize the tickets easily for everyone. After that I spent the 2 weeks practicing and preparing for my debut. I borrowed a keyboard from Wira (Then) to isolate some sections of the songs I had to sing. Thanks Wira, you were a key part of my performance so I appreciate that. I also had to borrow some Camo Pants from Justin. I appreciate it man, without those pants, I wouldn't have looked like the Rock Star I wanted to be.
I just practiced and practiced with help from Alex and Brennard. They really helped me get things together so I couldn't have been ready without them most definitely. I'll be honest, I really wasn't nervous for the show. I was more nervous about things going smoothly the day of!
...so 2 weeks are gone after vacation and now it's the day of the performance...
The day had arrived. I woke up about 9, I was nervous, just not for the performance though. My friend Mathilde's flight was delayed coming in from Atlanta, and every time I checked it, it just kept getting delayed. I was afraid they would delay it all the way into the afternoon, making it difficult for me to pick her and Anne-Sophie up. I then spent that morning continuing to practice while waiting for Mathilde's flight to take off. FINALLY it lifted off. So I got my costume together, some paper work and I was out the door. I arrived just in time, a little earlier than when they landed. I met with Mathilde at the gate. I did meet Anne-Sophie for the first time there in LaGuardia. It was nice to see Mathilde again, since I just saw her a few weeks ago in Atlanta. So we grabbed their bags and were off for 41st street.
Of course the second snag hits. Alwin calls me while I was driving, saying that the tickets aren't under everyone's name like I planned. He took two tickets under my name. Well I couldn't solve it till I got to the theatre so, about half an hour later, I got into the city and parked in the lot right next to the Nederlander. Walked up and asked for my tickets, which were now two tickets short because Alwin took mine in confusion. I asked for Alwin Ventura's tickets and sure enough they found it. I guess the staff at the box office that helped Alwin was a bit confused. With that crisis solved, I went shopping with Mathilde and Anne Sophie till it was close to Rush time.
At 5:15 I left Mathilde and Anne Sophie at FAO Schwartz and made my way to the theatre. When I arrived, Harold, Adam, Antonio, Jen Punsal, Alex, Brennard, and Konrad were there. Behind them came Bob, Dana, Justin, Kristin, Jen Yu, and Albert. After them Phil and his sister showed. We all throw in our names for Rent's rush. In the end 3 of us got our names pulled, unfortunately Phil's sister didn't know about the photo id thing so she lost hers. Still we walked out with 4 rush tickets, and were the loudest group ever at a rush (or so I assume)!!!
...There's Only Us, There's Only This...
Then came the big moment, going back stage to really begin my Rent experience. My brother, sister and I walked past the box office, past the doors to the stage and go into the staff only hall. It's like a back alley, but at the end is a door that says stage door. I walk past and it opens to a tiny hallway. There I met the stage manager Crystal who was so nice! She took me on a tour of the backstage. We started with the hallway between the stage and wardrobe. There, sitting on the wall was a plaque that says "Thank You Johnathan Larson." This was made by the original company, and it has hung there since opening night. Everyone touches it as they pass by to go on stage for luck. We then walked upstairs and I saw the tiny space they all share as their own personal wardrobe room. It's crazy how little space they have to work with to get ready, considering the many costumes they wear. We then went to below stage and it was weird, because it felt like a basement, but they have a lot going on underneath the stage. They have 3 other wardrobe areas down there to help them get ready between scene changes. They also have a small green room with some vending machines and coffee. Funny enough, Jay Wilkerson (he would go on to play Gordon and the Man that night) had celebrated his baby shower that day, so there was food from the party sitting there. We saw Justin Johnston’s (Angel) dressing table where he applies his makeup. It was definitely a busy table. After the quick downstairs tour, I went to wardrobe. Angela Wendt took a look at what I brought and was ok with my Rockport shoes and the Camo Pants Justin lent me, but she wasn't feeling the shirts. She whipped out a nice rocker T with undershirt and I looked the part, full out Rock Star!!! I was so impressed with what Angela put together, but that's probably why she won a Tony. Right after this, I get brought upstairs for a quick stage tour. They showed me on stage, and then behind the stage and how everything works. It's amazing what they go through every night to make it work. A director from stage right, lights everywhere getting ready to go. They have such tight spaces they run through in the back. It's tighter than most narrow hallways. Articles of costume waiting to be picked up or changed on the fly. It takes a lot to make this show look so smooth without a delay. I'll later see it in practice. We went upstairs to the landing where Renee Goldsberry (Mimi) does "Out Tonight." I’m shocked in the 12 years it has been on Broadway, not one person has been severely injured and that only one person had an accident (which they recovered from without missing a beat.).
As we were touring, Will Chase (Roger) was doing his exercises on the Landing where "Life Support" occurs. He said hi and continued with his drills. We walked down, finished the tour and we waited around while the rest of the cast trickled in so we can do a dress rehearsal of my scenes. We talked a bit about the history and things that had happened at the theatre. I was then fitted for a Mic, and was set for my Rehearsal.
We then went upstairs and we went over the cues I had to go over. The hardest thing I had to learn was to say my name (funny how that works right?). The problem is I have to say my name between Pam and Ally, but there is no name in there usually. I have to say it so that I don't miss a beat, because they can't slow down the song for me, but say it clearly enough so it doesn't come out poorly. The rest of the cues were easy. First was to sit, then sing, "There's only us..." At the end of the first line Adam Kantor (Mark) stumbles onto stage, which I then react to naturally. We then sing "Forget regret..." at the end of that line, Jay (Gordon) interrupts us saying he doesn't agree with us. I then look up at the second exit sign, pretending to be looking at Jay (Gordon) instead and contemplating his words. When he finishes, we then look at each other and sing "No other road..." and it fades to black as Renee (Mimi) begins "Out Tonight." We then sit around and wait for "Another Day" (my favorite song in the whole show) to begin and get to the mid point where Renee (Mimi) and Will (Roger) begin yelling at each other in harmony, while the Life support Group begins to sing to Will (Roger) in an artistic moment where they support Renee (Mimi) and remind Will (Roger) that he is dying and he only has so much time to be loved again. We then stand up a little bit after we begin singing in the song and move to the railing looking down at them. After the last line we all hug each other and freeze. A lot to remember in so little time right? The last part is running down the stairs, which are steep as all hell. I was glad I didn't injure myself on those steps.
While the director walked me through this, Brennard and Alex got to live out their dreams and act out some of Rent while waiting for us to finish. Funny enough Will Chase saw and heard them. When he came down from his exercises, he approached the stage director and me and had said something to the effect of, "You guys going to act out the whole thing? Hey we should send them in as replacements, you won't need me tonight." He was obviously referencing Alex and Brennard. I laughed and replied, "If you want, I know everyone of your queues. I can replace you as Roger." He smiled and said, "It's yours!" and began to walk away which I sort of laughed to. He obviously was joking but it was nice to know how nice and fun loving they are. So The Stage Director then called everyone for Life Support to do the full Dress Rehearsal Run through. Up comes Tracy McDowell, Telly Leung, Crystal Hall, Andrea Gross, Shawn Earl, Justin Johnston, Michael McElroy, Jay Wilkerson, Adam Kantor, Renee Goldsberry and Will Chase (Who technically was already there). Talk about shock and awe, it was so nice to meet all of them, but we ran right into the beginning of Life Support. We got setup and ran through it. After we all said our names and sat down, the director said stop and to run it from the top, but from the seats. I did it, I fucked up my name, so I said it louder and slower this time, which was much better. We then went through the rest of the dress rehearsal. The rest I basically didn't screw up. They were all nice. We chatted for a bit and then they went to get ready for the show. Tracy and Andrea basically kept me stress free and said they'd make sure to take care of me during the cues. Technically they had to help me, because Tracy was in front of me in the group and Andrea was setup behind me. I finally got to tell Adam he's an awesome Mark, which he was grateful for. The rest of the group I had chatted quickly with as they needed to get in costume and make up.
At this point Brennard and Alex had to step off stage and take their seats as people would begin filing in. I went down stairs, grabbed my mouth wash, rinsed my mouth out and just got myself composed and focused. I went into the green room and sat in a corner seat to just go over my entire part in my head. I sat there for a few minutes before Trisha Jeffery (She's the understudy for Joanne and would have performed that night, but she had a headache and Maia Wilson covered for her) walked over and asked me what I was doing in the dunce chair. I was a bit embarrassed trying to explain to her I'm just rolling through my performance tonight in my head so I could perform flawlessly. She smiled and told me get out of there and sit with them. She then chatted with me and a few of the other stage hands. Meanwhile this entire time, Eden Espinosa was passed out on one of the couches in the green room. At 15 minutes to curtain, she snapped up and walked out to go into costume. It was funny to see, because I was shocked at how clock like it seemed. At 5 minutes to Curtain, Andrea, Tracy, Telly and Jay had come down and chilled in the green room. We continued to talk and chat until places. I then went upstairs and took my place at the seat to the left (stage right) of the Band area. I saw Jen Yu, Harold, Adam and Antonio sitting there in front row! I was looking for others but it was hard to see before the show started. Then I heard the words go, from Crystal the stage manager behind me, and it began...
...Lets Begin...
Adam (Mark) ran on stage and said, “We begin…” right after the applause died from the crowd. Here it was, me as part of the cast instead of a spectator. I wasn't nervous but thrilled. I was so excited, I've come all this way and here I am on Broadway. True I'm not really an actor or whatever, but this was beyond insanity for me. The first act rolled along and I was sitting there on the wings just experiencing it right in front of me. Crazy part was, the entire time, I can hear Crystal behind me calling out lights and places, then saying go and seeing it happen right before my eyes. It's crazy how much is going on behind the scenes just to make things work. I had people running past and around me getting to places and then going. They were just everywhere. In the middle of "You'll See" I was pulled to put on my Mic and get ready for my big debut. I watched "Tango: Maureen" from behind a screen where the door to the apartment is (In stage right, upstage). It was so cool, it's like a kid sneaking a peak of the show, yet I'm right there on stage! Towards the end, the crew for Life Support comes upstairs and Tracy grabs my hand to drag me to the staircase below the landing for Life Support. Adam (Mark) and Maia (Joanne) gave out their last lines and the theatre went dark and then lit up again and we all walked up. I stepped up and said my name... Loud, crisply and clearly... otherwise perfectly. As I walked to my seat, I could see out into the crowd and it was a bit awe inspiring to realize that all these people were here... watching us the cast perform! As I sat, the idea of my family and friends out there watching me and the thought of just being in Rent made me so happy. Everyone pointed this out after the show, saying I couldn't stop smiling the whole time. Michael (Collins) was the last one up, so then Shaun said those famous words "Let's Begin." We all then in unison sang and.. My god, to hear all their voices work with mine was mind blowing. It was exhilarating to hear them, and they were just so loud and beautiful, I was left in a sense of wonderment around them. Adam (Mark) came up next and did his awkward entrance, which I reacted by being confused and then laughing (which I've always wanted to do and usually how I act it when I'm listening to the song). He sat and we continued the affirmation. Next Jay (Gordon) interrupted us and voiced his concern about his AIDS. I turned and stared at that second exit sign. I tried my best to pretend he was there, talking to us and I felt I was spot on, minus all the smiling like an idiot. In my mind I just kept thinking, act like you’re contemplating, but I guess I couldn't stop that happy feeling. After Jay finished his lines, we all turned to each other and remind Jay that, there is only us, there is only this... and as we are singing this, Shaun comes over and puts his hands around my back and then Andrea and Crystal do the same, as if we were all in this life support group together. There was only us in my mind. This normally doesn't happen in the show, so it was amazing they did that to calm me down a bit, it was such a great feeling. At that moment I felt like I was part of the Rent family!!! There was no way I couldn't stop smiling after that, I felt like such a kid, in the biggest candy store in the world. As the song died, the lights killed and Renee (Mimi) began "Out Tonight." We all sat there in the dark. My direction was to just freeze for the most part and everyone did the same. Justin (Angel) had taken his coat partially off cause I'm sure it's hot in the Santa Coat. The song closed, silence, then Will (Roger) began with those vicious words, "Who do you think you are..." and so we continued to wait in quiet silence and stillness. Then after 2 back and forth's, we come in to sing to them..."I can't control, my destiny. I trust my soul, my only goal is just to be." Will (Roger) counters, asking Renee (Mimi) to just let him be, so we stand and begin singing to Roger that there is no day but today. I've always wanted to do this, this is why I love Another Day. There is so much emotion and feeling and rawness to the song. I want to do Rogers part and I've always wanted to sing to Roger to tell him to forget regret. Here I was living out one of my dreams. It felt so amazing to be on stage. I didn't care about my smile anymore because this song is about telling Roger to let go. So I just let my emotion and voice out and sang as loud and clearly as I could. We sang the last, "No Day but Today..." we on the Life Support stage hugged each other and I froze in a group hug with Tracy, Andrea, and Crystal and held places till the lights died. Then we ran down to landing as, "Will I" began. I was a bit afraid of falling but, I made it down safely and I had to run all the way across back stage from stage right to stage left to have my microphone removed. They took it off quickly and I was able to watch "Santa Fe" from stage left wing. It was a full view and so cool to see it from. I was in a view where I could just jump right in and be a part of it all again. When Santa Fe was over, I went down stairs and went back to my seat near the orchestra on stage right. I watched the rest of the first act from here, including "La Vie Boehme," which was a treat to see it so close from the angle I was in. Then the first act ended and everyone went downstairs or to their dressing rooms. I went down with them and hung out in the green room. Tracy, Trisha the mic people, Kyle Post, and Telly hung out there for most of the break. I talked to them just chilled. Kyle just got the iPhone 3g and he was showing it off to Telly. Tracy was sitting next to me. Her, some of the sound staff and I had a discussion about Pocahontas, Spiders and NJ. That killed up most of the break. I ran upstairs to take my seat, and right before I get there, Crystal, the Stage Manager introduced me to a special visitor that night... WILSON JAMES HEREDIA!!!!! He was the original Angel!!! THAT WAS SO CRAZY! I'll tell you what, that proved this was the best night of my life.
...Seasons of Love...
As I sat, I saw Jen, Harold, Adam and Antonio sitting again front row. It brought a smile to my face again, knowing all my friends were there. I then tried to look harder for everyone, and I saw Mathilde and Anne-Sophie sitting on the far right side of the theatre. I was definitely happy at this point knowing that they could make it all the way from France to see my once in a life time moment. I just tried soaking this all in as the entire cast walked on for the shows iconic song. They began..."525,600 Minutes, 525,600 moments so dear..." and I tried just soaking it in, but it was so hard not to at least sing under my breath on the wings. I looked out and you can see a handful of other people out in the crowd mouthing it with me. By right before the solo parts I was in full swing singing under my breathe, and by the time the solos were done, I was clapping along and just in full motion as if I was one of the cast. It was moving to be there on the sides like that. The rest of the show went on, and it was just nuts being there. By the time Contact ended, and I'll Cover You (reprise) began, it just all came flooding on me. That song always makes me cry. All the thoughts of the people I lost this year, the family and friends who are here, and those who have gone in years past just watching me tonight just brought out so much more emotion on me. I cried my tears as Michael (Collins) sang through his ballad and the song came to a close. I composed myself as Halloween began and then I was able to witness Goodbye Love from a unique position. It was dawning on me that this was the end, but that I had one more moment to take in.
...No Day but Today...
Rene (Mimi) comes back from the dead and they sing about how there is no day but today one more time. They take in Mimi's second chance and their memory of Angel overwhelms them and then the company minus Justin (Angel) joins them on stage and then Justin joins them. The song ends and they take their final bows, giving credit to the band, crew and each other and then they run off. I had stood up from my seat at this time and waited on the wings. They ran off, and Michael grabbed my hand and brought me out to center stage and we all grabbed hands and bowed. I'll tell you seeing the entire crowd on its feet... oh man that was so intense. Then the entire company but me stepped back and allowed me to take my own bow and gave me what felt like hours on stage to bow, wave at everyone and take in my last moments on Broadway. I just looked around at them and could see their smiles and the smiles of all my friends and family out in the crowd. That brought an amount of joy I couldn't fathom. I had planned to point to the company and the band and to everyone in the crowd as a tribute to them for this night... but I was just so overwhelmed by it all. It was all just so much at that moment, too many feelings, and too many emotions. Finally they grabbed my hand and we bowed and ran off stage. I then rushed down stairs to change so I can get my picture taken with the cast as they all left.
...Out Tonight...
I changed as fast as I could so I could get my picture with the cast. I had to do that because the cast changes fast and tries to get out as fast as they can to get home, or so I was warned. By the time I got upstairs, Justin and Michael had left already, but thankfully I already had pictures with them from previous shows. I got upstairs and there was Wilson Heredia again, so I walked out to the lobby area to just outside the stage. Alex, Brennard, Mom, Mathilde and Anne-Sophie was waiting there. I of course turn to Alex and say look who it is. She freaked when she saw Wilson and then we took a picture. Next Eden came down and Wilson literally swept her off her feet, which took Eden by surprise. While Eden and Wilson caught up, Tracy came down next so I took a picture with her. She was totally cool and she definitely made it easy for me to feel like one of the Rent family. Once Eden finished catching up with Wilson, I took a picture with her. God, such a powerful voice for Maureen. She seemed a bit methodical that night, but it still seemed like she was having fun. Still though Take me or Leave me... it was so chilling to listen to because she just killed it. Next Telly came down. Glad he could be in the show, since the family and I have seen him in a ton of performances and it was great he could be here. Then Will came down. He gave a wonderful performance that night, second only to the times I saw Adam Pascal perform, but of course Adam originated the role so it's hard to compare. Still, it was a great performance and perfect for my night, so I took a picture with him next. Funny enough, Mathilde and Anne-Sophie were smitten by him so they had to have a picture with him next. They practically jumped him after he took a picture with me =P. Marcus came down next. Great guy and was very supportive of me, even though we didn't have a scene together. Plus he's always awesome as the leader Christmas Caroler. Rodney followed up after him. He does such a great job as Benny and he's also such a great guy. He was very supportive of me and it was so nice to hear coming from one of the original cast (yeah original cast). Adam was next in line, and he did a sweet job that night as Mark. His voice isn't the best Mark, but I love how he acts out Mark, he's perfectly awkward as Mark should be. Maia, who was AWESOME as Joanne that night. She gave me the biggest hug and gave me the sweetest words. It was so nice to hear from one of the cast. Finally Renee was the last one who came down. She had a lot to live up to in my mind since I loved Tamayra Grey as Mimi, but she was on that night. It was great to see the glitter come from Mimi's hair again and she was the perfect foil for Will's Roger. It really brought the emotion out of Roger and Mimi and I was so glad they had that chemistry on stage!!! Well, there was one thing left to do sign the wall, the wall that every cast member has signed. I picked my spot and left my mark. It was... bittersweet for me. This completed the whole event, I was official part of Rent history!!! I didn't want it to end, but signing that wall officially brought it to a close. Alex, Brennard, Mathilde and Anne-Sophie sign it as well. Funny enough, Mathilde and Anne-Sophie are the two people who have come from the furthest place (France) to sign the wall. I said my goodbyes to the rest of the crew and left the Nederlander for what might be the last time (at least for a Rent performance.). What came next was something I think was a little to movie perfect. I figured everyone would be standing outside just waiting for me, so I thought I'd just come busting out singing "No Day but Today." but I was in for an even bigger shock. I stepped out and there were all my friends, standing around, just yelling and screaming treating me like I was a superstar. It really touched me to have them do that for me. It really sealed the night for me, to have my family by my side at my performance and to have my friends to support till the end. Having Sam run up to me, giving me a hug and seeing everyone's faces just cheering for me and just acting like I was a star, just moved me so much. It gave me a sense of bliss, something that I don't think can be topped for a long time. It was such a whirlwind just exiting to that, circling around and see the faces, it was just too much for me. What made it even crazier was having just a random audience member ask me for my autograph. That was just insane all in itself. I just couldn't believe someone I didn't know wanted my autograph!!! We all hung around for a while talking about the show, then we began dispersing, some going for home and some going for D&B. I joined the D&B crew for a quick drink and food before taking Mathilde and Anne-Sophie home.
To sum it all up, when Dana and I were discussing that night, the quote, "This is the greatest thing I have done, and probably ever will do. I doubt my own wedding could ever top this feeling," really explains the feeling I had for that night. It was the most amazing experience and I won't forget that night for years to come.
In the end, I just have to thank my family for supporting me and putting up with my inequities so that I could arrive to that night and perform with all my heart. Thank You Alex, Brennard, Mom and Dad for being there for me that night and in my life!
Thank my friends for being so supporting and wonderful enough to come out to see me. It means a lot that they could take time out of their busy lives to see my moment in the sun. Thank you, Justin, Bob, Dana, Albert, Sam, Emily, Konrad, Jen P, Brad, Harold, Adam, Antonio, Alwin, Camille, Nina, Kristin, Phi, Phil, Reggie, Ivan, Joe, Jen Yu, Anne-Sophie, Mathilde for being there that night. It meant a lot to see all your faces there cheering for me, especially because I know a lot of you traveled from so many different and far off places to be there.
To the entire Company of Rent for giving me the opportunity to do this, to help me get ready for it and for helping me on stage be the best I could be that night.
And, Thank you Jonathan Larson, for writing something that has touched my life and touched so many others.
Photo's can be found here: http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=707174734#/album.php?aid=29410&id=707174734
If this link fails, please post a comment and will post alternate location.
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I call and there's 2 replies
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| Monday, June 2nd, 2008
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5:21 pm - In case you aren't a Facebook Friend
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I'm going to be on Broadway in RENT!!!!
It will be the July 12th performance at 8pm.
The story:
Ientered a Silent Auction during one of my visits to the show(particularly the time I saw it with Harold and his friend). One of theprizes was a walk on Role in Rent. A few days later, while waiting formy parents to arrive from the Philippines, I had received a call from anumber I didn't know. It ended up being the stage director for Rent. HeCongratulated me on me winning and that I would be performing in Rent!!!
So here i am now, July 12th, I will be in Rent!!!!!
Ihope you can make it and watch me perform. If not only for that but tosee an amazing musical about the life of 8 friends and a year in theirlife. I promise you it will be a good show which is very moving. Great numbers, a great story and Me in it!!!
Hope to see you there.
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I call and there's 4 replies
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| Monday, March 24th, 2008
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11:30 pm - Wasted Opportunity...
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I don't know what kind of update this would be. It's always hard to tell with me sometimes. I just get these sudden urges to write. I wish I knew why, but usually they are never good. It's like my mind is telling me this needs to be recorded before you forget. I haven't done this in a while, but I think I'll be a little more free flowing with my ideas...
I think this is more a cry to talk to someone... what about I don't know. I wish I knew, It just suddenly hit me, not like a train, but like a ghost. Weird statement right? I didn't expect this, nothing is really wrong right now. Just... something ain't right perse. I don't know what. I guess I do feel a little alone, that could be a part of the problem. It's nothing new though, and usually there is a trigger. Like... rejection or a bad argument with a friend or just poor circumstance. None of that has happened recently. I guess... I just got used to talking to so many people over the past few weeks. It was easy. I had something to say and I had an audience. Now I have nothing to say and the crowd has dispersed. Is that's what's bugging me?
I doubt it, That wouldn't put me in such a funk. what is it? I just feel.... isolated. That isn't true, nothing of the sorts been happening. So what is it? Maybe it's the movies and tv shows I'm watching. Someone once told me I need to stop listening to the music I do and stop watching the media I watch. It puts thoughts in my head. Bad ones. Ones that leave me with a feeling of isolation. Maybe that's it. Yet... all of that has to have root somewhere. It maybe a cause but not the problem. So what is it?
You know what... I play denial a lot though. I say I get used to being alone, but that's a lie. I don't think anyone could ever get used to being just alone, well unless they became insane. Call it the ego crying out for something, a soul searching for it's mate or animalistic instinct needing a partner, it's deep down there. I get those yearnings too... it's impossible to fight it. For better or for worse I let my own mental pride tell me otherwise. Never show weakness is what I say. Foolish... that's more like it. I can never get in line... I always have to be different.
This is starting to sound more like a confession. Funny... I was just joking with my brother the other week about it. I thought Confession (as in the sacrament, not the action) was excessive. Yet here i am the hypocrite, looking to Give away my sins not to a priest, but to the open world. I'm worse than a hypocrite... those in Confession can face their Confessor. I'm hiding behind a veil of anonymity. I'm a coward is what I am. I'm afraid to face everyone else... everyone else's weakness'es and strengths... but when it comes to my own, I"m afraid. I'm afraid of being less than what is expected of me. I"m afraid of being vulnerable... weak...open. Yet as I unravel it more... I can see the scars.. the pains from the past and I question whether it's worth it all again. This line of thought is ridiculous. It's not like I have any one to be vulnerable... defenseless for. There is no one there.. speaking I guess from a potential ... girlfriend...someone... significant other... no... none of those words fit. So why worry about it? Why worry that so unnecessarily? Why let it stress my mind?
Bordem? Solved everyone elses problems? That's my fault... I still think I can be the Hero. I still think I can save the world. When there's no world to save, I get bored. Maybe that's it. Maybe I need to create my own problems just so I can solve it... then write about it so I get this sense of accomplishment. Then I can feel vindicated when people begin to reply back to my livejournal... or my facebook... or my im's... or my insane yammering in person. Maybe what I need is... I don't know... Always find something new. Never be in the same situation for a week... a month.. a year. Do what you've always done... Run when you can't handle it anymore.
I don't want to run anymore. I Want to make things right now. Why can they never be right? Why do I always have to demand more... and once I get it... demand more and so on. It's never enough for me, only perfection. It can always be better.
... No... I know what it is. I'm afraid of moving on. Yes I'll throw away comfortability, but I've done that before. People will be gone... and I will be sad for my loss. No, I'm afraid of moving on because I'll forget... I'll forget the memories, the people, the places. We say always remember, but that's impossible. We can't remember it all. I still want to hold onto it in some way. Funny... Forget regret or life is yours to miss... it's the line from my favorite musical... I can't find my way to live it. Like Roger, I keep searching for one song glory instead of living. Like Mark, I'm afraid to show emotion... The parallel's draw on. I'm afraid of it all vanishing because of the future that awaits. Is it a consequence of caring to much? Is it fear of the unknown? Is it my own weakness... in that if I lose control, I lose everything? Will I come out at the other end?
I wish I knew why I felt this way... it would make me feel better.
For once.. Comments are off...it's never happened before and I hope it doesn't have to happen again. Sorry.
...See you space cowboy...
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| Sunday, March 9th, 2008
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10:08 pm - Smash Bros.
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Ok, obviously a lot of you have already gotten it like I have. So if you havne't added me as a friend yet for the wii, here is my friend code:
8536 5370 2205 7986
If you are adding me, please leave your wii code here so I can add you and we can smash it up. Thank you.
Edit Obviously I should have looked further, ok so her eis my SSMB friend code:
0130 1477 1197
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I call and there's 7 replies
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| Monday, February 25th, 2008
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11:22 am - When you were young...
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I'll be honest, this is about the 3rd time I've tried to write this post. I want to keep those of you still reading up to date, but it just seems harder and harder as of late. I have my busy work schedule, my trips around the world and the personal bullshit I must keep up with that makes updating a chore at best. Let me tell you, I hate chores... a lot.
So, what's been up, I've been traveling either for work training or for personal vacations. I went to Lancaster PA in November for a training. Saw the Amish and some nice farm land. In December, went to the Philippines for two weeks to see family, friends and just needed a vacation to unwind. That's all about the traveling I've done since October.
Talk about necessary on that vacation. Things have just been insane as of late. Ughhh crazy people who throw mixed signals. What does that mean? It means that I've just had to deal with shit such as people who say they are friends, but hardly act like it. It's been frustrating to deal with because I am trying to take a new line of action with people. I used to just let those people slip away, but I don't want to just "give up" like that. I do think of it more as I'm letting them do their thing and if I'm still in the plans, then great... if not then I'm sorry I couldn't be a better person (thanks goes to Colin on this for reminding me this is my overall goal, specailly at a time when I forgot). Adding to the frustration is that I feel like I'm doing everything as of late in the friendship. It's stressing at best.
I don't want to get into too much detail on that. That discussion is meant more for friends and not acquaintances. Not to be insulting, but if this is the only way we can stay up to date with each other, obviously we are only acquaintances.
What else has happened to me in the past few months? Hmmmm.... getting ready to move out, hopefully by the summer. Let's see what else? I think that's it. The car's still a dream, work is still busy and things are generally good, contrary to my previous monologue. I try not to let so much of the bullshit get to me, but hey I am human and it happens. Still though, to come back to the point, I'm planning for a few trips to come. Maryland is always in the plans, and not just Otakon. I want to go France in the summer and see Paris. Hopefully get some out of state trainings again, Colorado, Chicago, San Diego, and maybe Florida seem to be in the cards. Hopefully stay busy and relaxed at the same time is the goal.
So yeah, I'm just moving forward, trying to stay happy and motivated. Trying to alleviate the sudden back up of personal affairs. I know being involved in a friends life is a lot of work, but it's something I'm willing to do and stress over. It seems like some of my "friends" don't want to put that kind of investment though, and I guess I need to re-evaluate whether they are really friends I guess. I'm hoping for clarity...
So how are you? What's up? Why don't we hang out anymore (if we don't)? Want to hang out? I don't mind the drive, let's meet up. Well hopefully you'll hear from me soon. Who knows when, but hopefully soon enough...
I do apologize for what was a mostly weak LJ post which was devoid of any real updates or relevant information. In fact I consider it one of the worst posts I've posted in a while. Hopefully the next one won't be so weak.
...See you space cowboy
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I call and there's 5 replies
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| Sunday, February 17th, 2008
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12:50 pm - Need Help from you guys!
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Hey! what's up?
I am trying to help the sister of a friend of mine, win the Lord and Taylor Model Search Contest Here in Jersey. Please do the following to help vote! Here name is Wendy (there's only one and she's an asian chick so it's hard to fuck this up.) Please follow instructions below.
1. click on the link: http://www.lordandtaylor.com/directmail/modelsearch_vote.jsp#store2
2. scroll down to GARDEN STATE PLAZA
3. click on Wendy Garden State Plaza
4. scroll all the way down to where it asks for your e-mail address and enter it
5. then click on vote
6. it'll lead you to the second page and prompts you to fill out more information.
It takes not more than 5 minutes, so help a brother out and take some time to rig an election (you'd make the republican party proud =P).
If your even nicer you'll please pass this along to people I don't know and further help me Rig this election. Thanks for all those who help and for those who don't BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Show me that you the internet can do anything!
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I call and there's 2 replies
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| Thursday, December 27th, 2007
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7:48 am - Farily accurate
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My Personality
| | Neuroticism | | Extraversion | | Openness To Experience | | Agreeableness | | Conscientiousness | |
| You often resist any cravings or urges that you have, but sometimes you give in, however you are generally calm, although some situations can make you feel anxious or tense. You tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. You often need privacy and time for yourself. Familiar routines are good, but sometimes you like to spice up your life with a bit of adventure or activity. You naturally assume that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions, however you are willing to take credit for good things that you do but you don't often talk yourself up much. You have strong will-power and are able to overcome your reluctance to begin tasks. You are able to stay on track despite distractions.
| Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report
The best Survey Software. |
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I call
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| Monday, October 15th, 2007
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11:05 am - Give me a reason, to end this discussion...
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3 months, sorry. I haven't lost my passion to write, it's more like I've not found the time to update. The consequence of a 8 to 5 job. The short of it, just in case I run long and you get bored, is basically just doing things to keep me entertained, but not much new besides my new car. Yeah, if you haven't heard yet, I bought a BMW 335XI, Sedan, in Sparkling Graphite, on August 4th. That's been the most exciting thing for me as of late. I love driving it, so I can't complain. Every moment I spend in it is exciting and new for whatever reason. It looks very similar to this (And the way I drive it, I'm sure that blur affect happens as well =P) http://www.nicoclub.com/reviews/images/g35-compare-3.jpg
Naw no Girlfriend as of today. Honestly, doesn't bug me. Recently, it just hit me I spent 6 years with that as my greatest focus. Everything else was like a "Distraction" to me. Bah, I wasted so much time. Yeah I enjoyed things, but I always let the hang over my neck like an Albatross (Rime of the Ancient Mariner, you should read it some time, it's really good). Just trying to focus on the other things I honestly do find important but never gave focus. I do hate how people have to remind me of it now as if it's critical. You know what, yeah, it'd be nice to have someone, but obviously it's just not meant for me right now. Don't remind me, that's just aggravating. Trust me, I hear it enough from Media and Society, I don't need my family and friends saying it to. I get it, I'm alone, the feeling is supposed to suck. I'm not trying to make it not suck.
Hmmm, what else is new? No Trips this time around. I spent most of August and September just getting things done. OHHH my birthday was the 25th, as it is every year (duh). The party was fun. Just hung around, played board games, tried to get my friends to socialize. It was humid as anything though, so that really soured some of the party. It was ok though, the evening Lan Party was intensity. The Mafia game afterwards was just as nuts. I do have to give a big thank you to Justin Strafer for hosting it for me. I appreciate that greatly man.
Other than that, I just keep going through this or that. Stupid shit, most of the time I make a bigger deal than I should. Yeah, I'm a demanding asshole for whatever reason. I expect too much of people, just like I expect too much of what I own. I guess that's another footnote as to why no girlfriend, I'm a little to picky and have high expectations, so I'd want only the best when it comes to a GF. Stupid me, it's why I isolate people in end. I've been slowly learning, just gotta accept things as is. Not to the point I should change who I am, but just be whatever. Doesn't mean I should grow close to those I just feel up to par. It just means gotta accept people for who they are. I just gotta find a group of people who fit who I am. Something else I realized recently, my different groups of friends have one or two qualities of who I am, but I don't have a group of friends who really compliment me. Finding a group of bohemians to roll with would definitely make my current situation a little more fun to go through.
Work's been good to be good as of late. I got promoted a few weeks ago. Pretty exciting, of course that came with a raise. That was cool. Things are tense right now, a lot of the competitors are catching up to us, so we are trying to step it up and open up the gap again.
What's coming up? Hmmm, moving out hopefully by December or January. Keep everyone posted since we will probably through a house warming party. Probably going to go to the Philippines in December as well. A much needed getaway. I don't think it can come soon enough. I need a break, between personal issues and work issues, I have no time to just let it all seep out. I spend half my weekends just trying to let the stress and worries pass out of me, but as of late it's like the weekends just bring on their own set of problems. Ugh, a break from life, can't wait!
Loosing a lot of weight, I'm pretty much where I was at the peak of my DDR days. I'm hoping to go past that and really get into decent shape. Funny enough I'm doing it more for experiment reasons rather than health or anything. Just a theory I have about personality and aesthetics. If I'm right, I'll definitely write a book about it, without a doubt. Stupid society and it's stupid perceptions.
Any way, I've been trying to keep up with those of you who still write in here. God it's been so hard to though. I'm doing my best, I Promise. I did Join Facebook, but I had to because of this girl I met from France. It was the most effective way for us to communicate with each other (forgot to metion her, her name's Mathilde. Met her in Atalanta when I was there on training. We had a awesome "date" [we went to a ball game, I mean it was more as of friends, she wanted to see a baseball game and I wanted to see Turner stadium.]. A Wonderful girl who was very wonderful to be with that night.). So if you want to add me go nuts.
I guess, I'll talk to you all when I can, take care.
...See You Space Cowboy.
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I call and there's 7 replies
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| Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
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12:05 pm - Wonderful Insight
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A good article on the science and thoughts processes of Introverts vs Extroverts. Of course most of us on this are introverts (the extroverts have all but migrated to facebook/myspace, leaving us with this as our wonderful playground).
http://briankim.net/blog/2007/10/top-5-things-every-extrovert-should-know-about-introverts/
interesting thought to add, I know I fall somewhere in the middle, which may lead me to believe that my sometimes random bouts of unfocus and confusion could be from both my front and back lobes wishing for some stimuli. Quandary of a thought, though I'm sure it's an unfounded idea.
Enjoy the read.
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I call and there's 2 replies
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| Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007
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7:29 pm - So...
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| Sunday, September 9th, 2007
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2:06 am - I guess that's a good result
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| Sunday, July 29th, 2007
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11:16 pm
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You would have thought I would have forgotten about this. No, I didn't, I do read this almost daily, well my friends list any way. It's not that my life has been short on excitement, I... I just haven't found the inspiration to write as of recent. I started writing about my cousin's wedding (which I attended in May), a little bit after it happened, but then I ended up stopping. To be honest as of late, I just haven't found any reason to write in here. I wish I knew why I lost that flare, that spark. Yeah, I'm sure I've said it before. It's probably a sign that maybe this journal will come to a writing close soon. I don't know yet.
So what have I been up to? There was a wedding in May that I attended. At the end of May, I went to Roanoke. June was mostly personal stuff... things I wish I could discuss but can't (more for the third party and their wishes rather than my personal wishes). July I went to Cape Cod and then Otakon. Here I am now in Atlanta for a conference which runs till Thursday. That's been my travels in the past few months. I'm sure I've had things happen here and there, maybe they were significant, maybe they were not.
You don't realize how fast time moves till you look back on it. I wish I could remember the important things to me in the last few months. Honestly only one, maybe two things really stick out in my mind. It's like it's just been a blur. I guess that's how life is supposed to move right? Just can't forget the lessons and the memories that's all. I guess the events are just details in the end. Details are meaningless, it's all about the results.
Ugh that idea makes me sick. That's what the society around... me at least... seems to propagate. Results, who cares how you get there. Yeah, I'm a little mad at the world right now. Well, more like mad at the society around me. I guess we all get our angsty times like that. But yeah, this whole idea of Results and perfection has made me very sick as of late. I've pushed my body to extraordinary limits just to get thinner. Consequently, it's starting to take it's toll on me mentally. It's not me to do that. I've given my self a fighting reason though, and it's made me angry inside. In turn that's led to a bit of a depressive and saddened attitude. I can't stop though. I have to keep going until I'm at least at a state where people around me begin to notice results. Perfection and results... that's all any one cares about. It's been tough because it just seems like no one notices any of the work I've done. So, all my work has really produced no results in the end. Numerically, sure I'm sure I've lost weight. I 've dropped easily two waist sizes in probably 2 months. My siblings have acknowledge this, but I guess I'd feel nicer if more people noticed. Perfection and results are all that matter.
Yet as of late, The only way I can let all these ideas out is to myself, just mentally in my mind. I think that's what's been adding to my insanity. Bad voodoo really. God, I wish I could find the drive to write about something more than just my mental state of mind. In the end, I really don't want to keep writing about that. I find it... trite. It's all I've done for maybe the last 3 years of this journal. Inspiration... must find it.
That's what I'm searching for now. I've lost it. That's a horrible feeling I'll tell you man. It's not like I'm empty, it's just like there isn't any reason to go out and do anything. Yeah I could, but why? Having had a reason always made things easier.
That's all I got for now, I'll try post something eventually. I'll find something to write about soon enough. I hope. Till then.
...See You Space Cowboy.
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I call and there's 2 replies
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| Monday, July 2nd, 2007
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3:11 pm - Eye opening.
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| Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
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2:50 pm - Here's the thing, we started out friends... it was godo it was all pretend...
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Before I start, I'm going to be honest and say I'm writing this more out of boredom with the meeting I'm in right now more than anything. I really don't have much to update, not much to say, but let's see where this goes.
As an addendum to this thought, It seems that the trend of wishing to write less and less continues. In fact it seems that is a growing trend among those LJ's I read regularly. Outside of Virginia (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.3) ptocheia) or Jared (islandnj), most have posted less and less about what's going on in their life. It's ok though. I know most of these people either are busy with college classes, or moved out of their home to other locales (like Japan or something) or took the cheap way out and just switched to Myspace all together. Granted LJ is a poor way of holding on to a connection, but at least it was an easy way of being in touch when I could. Such is a path of life. Very few people want to write about their life, they just want to pry into others.
The nice thing though is, I've found a little spice to keep on writing past LJ. I've started writing some poetry here and there again, plus my passion for reading is back (though it's being stifled by my TV, Xbox Elite, HD-DVD purchases). I'm glad, for a while I was honestly afraid that I wouldn't find that spark again. The problem is most of my friends don't like to read. In fact they don't like too much in the way of artistry when it comes to poetry and similar. So in turn going to poetry readings and book clubs are out cause I don't want to go by myself. Museums, Broadway and plays are also extremely limited because most of my friends either don't want to go, or only want to see something like Avenue Q (Which don't get me wrong isn't bad, but when you want to go see wicked or jersey boys I always get the cockeyed look). I can thank most of this resurgence in the finer arts due to some interesting changes in the dynamic in some of my friendships.
Outside of the TV, the big thing about the last couple of weeks has been the weird evolution of my friendship with someone. At this point I'm a lot more comfortable about being open about what's been going on with that. I've really only talked to my sister about it. It's been really tense, then cool, then even more tense, now it's cool again. I don't know where thing will proceed too, but it's been one wild emotional ride for me. If your wondering, yeah, this is in direct link to the last few posts on the personal issues I've been having. Hmmmm, now that I'm here, I don't think it be proper I give the whole background on the situation. It's honestly a personal matter between this person and I. Yet, I want to say how much things have matured between us and how much of an amazing learning experience it's been. Some people have said what I've felt for her was infatuation. My sister (with my brother in concurrence.) feel she's just bad news for me. Maybe they are right, maybe I'm just obsessing over nothing. Yet, she's shown me time and time again what I've felt was right, was correct. Even during the bad times, she's been amazing. Yeah, the only disappointment is she doesn't feel for me as I do for her. At first this sucked, but as time went on, it was just easier to accept. Interestingly, we've just become very strong friends during this time. I learned she really considered me one of her best friends. I guess that's what did me in. It shocked me to learn this though cause in the past, she would push me away at times. It always made it difficult for us to grow close. That's why I found it weird. As of late, that's not been a problem. Granted we still have our challenges, but... we aren't as afraid to entrust each other and grow with each other. It's been a lot. Like I said, outside of the TV, this has been the biggest thing going on in the past few weeks.
As for the TV. Let me tell you... Amazing. I just setup an antenna amplifier last night to the over the air roof antenna over our house. At first I thought reception was going to suck. I then discovered, that just like all things digital, the Digital TV channels either work or they don't. Fox non digital looked and sounded like shit. Fox-HD looked phenomenal. 24 never looked (or sounded) better. I bought the Elite, and may I say Gears of War and Burnout Revenge look sick on the TV. HD-DVD movies looking outstanding. Superman Returns was sick in HD. So was Serenity. Now that I have the Elite, no more jitters when watching. Yeah I had the HD-DVD player hacked into my computer and it was a bit jittery cause I barley had enough horsepower to run it. In high lighting situations, with fast action it was jumpy. Freaking even the Wii looks sweet on it. Zelda I was a bit disappointed with, but Super Paper Mario looks freaking sweet on it. Even Madden looks really nice. Unfortunatley, even 3000 dollars worth of equipment couldn't save Red Steel. That game looked rough still. If you haven't been over yet, you need to give me a call and stop on by to see it. It's honestly beyond words at how sick the TV is with my surround sound system. Once I upgrade the surround sound to 7.1, I don't think I'll ever want to go to a movie again. Even now I know my setup is better than most movie theaters (once I can figure out a couch until I move out, my basement will be the definitive source of high end entertainment.). My God, it's honestly beautiful.
Yeah, that's the other that's been happening as of recent, either movie or game night at my house. The turn outs been low though. Dunno why, I've been inviting. It's fun when it happens though. Along with RPG that's all that been going on. Ohhh, that's not true. I've been putting together a pretty pimp suit for my cousin's wedding comping up on May the 12th. I bought an amazing two piece Alfani suit (which really goes great with my Alfani rain coat.). I then picked up a nice red and black bowtie to go with it and a vest. If it's as i imagine, I'm going to look like a million bucks. reminding me, I need to get a hair cut (more like a trim off the back), to complete the million dollar look. I guess that will have to be for Wednesday or Thursday. I promise pictures when I get back.
That's one of the few things coming up this month for me. Next week is my cousin's wedding. The following week is My Brothers graduation. The week after that I'm getting the fuck out of here for memorial day and I'm going to go somewhere to relax. Haven't decided yet, going to see where I can go that's out of state and enjoyable. I have family in Atlanta who I wouldn't mind seeing. Someone suggested St Louis, but I don't know what I'd do there. Chicago was an option... but maybe not. And, yeah. That's basically been things in a nutshell.
Obviously I've been working a lot, trying to fit things here in and there. I'm free on weekends or weeknights (nothing extremely late though god dammit. I don't mind meeting up anyone for a drink, just not at 10:30 at night. Some of us have work the next morning.). I'm trying my best to keep up with everyone, just gotta bare with me. Granted, I used to make the effort and many didn't respond back. All of the sudden I have all these requests to hang out, but at times I simply can't make. I'm willing but we just have to find something that works for both of us. I'd figure I'd throw that out there as an FYI, this being a public journal and all.
Good catching up with you. How about you, how are things going? Hopefully good. Well till next time. Take care.
See you space cowboy...
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I call and there's 11 replies
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| Saturday, April 28th, 2007
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1:50 am - Pokemon Code
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here is my pokemon code:
4210 0499 8949
Please reply with yours.
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I call
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| Sunday, April 15th, 2007
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8:59 pm - And the world will know!
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Oh man, how much has happened in the last 3 weeks. It's been a long ride since then. One of trials and tribulations. One that tested my spirits. and one I probably will not share here.
Maybe, its' best if I let the past go as such. I know I can't. Something this important to me, just can't it's too much a part of me now. None the less, I shall learn from it and go on.
Honestly, that's been the majority of my last 3 weeks... outside of this acquisition:
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The TV
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The Panasonic th-50pz700U. a 50" 1080p Plasma screen TV. As Christopher Llyod once said... "My God... it's beautiful." It's a huge TV, but so worth it. As you can see byt he pictures, it's taller than my computer, 2 ps2's and my Wii upright. Brennard put it best, "It was like watching the wall.". Oh man, movie night is going to be at my house for a while.
Now for more pictures. This time in Thumbnail format:
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From the left
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To the right
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The Inputs
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my HD-DVD drive
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Serenity in HD on my TV
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More Serenity on the Panasonic Behemouth
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Proof it's HD
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Yeah that's been it. I guess next time I'll have more. Take care of yourself till then.
...See ya space cowboy.
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I call and there's 9 replies
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| Sunday, March 25th, 2007
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9:06 pm - There's no place I can be, since I found Serenity
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I guess I lied. I thought I'd have the passion to continue to update this regularly. I'd hate to say it, but a lot of that fire to write has... I guess died down is the words to use. Oh, how much has happened, since the last time I wrote. Gosh, a whole month passed. I wish I could recollect it all for you. Most of it has passed my mind though, unfortunately. Maybe the last month can be described as forgetable, but then again, how could it be if it seems like life is changing once again. Maybe If I write now and think, It will come flooding back to me. Yes, let's try that exercise, it usually works when I post, no?
Probably the best things to happen to me is the end to my credit card debt. To be fair, it hasen't fully happened yet. I'm with in range of it though. Between my Bonus, Tax Return, and thrifty spending as of late, It's almost gone. Of course I've spent a bit in the last week, so maybe it won't be withing ear shot, but if I just dig a little I should be able to knock it down. This of course translate into me moving out. I can seriously start looking soon. I'm going to save up a bit as a buffer just in case something horrible happens, but It's almost time. It's something I've been looking forward to for a long time. A place of my own. In a sense, it's my way of finally moving on. Moving from the past, from what has happened. I just realized it, that's why I look forward to moving out so much. It would be the actual symbol of me finally moving on... and letting go. Funny, I wouldn't have thought of that with out writing... in any sense that's rambling. Some place quiet, some place peaceful, that's what I want. It would be the interm step between now and finally my own house. That would be the dream. My own home, a little piece of lot I call my own heaven... Yeah. Well, for now I'm looking for a place to rent. Where? I'm hoping to move North. Some place north of Wayne, probably as far west as East Strousburg, PA. Oakland, NJ ain't a bad place.
I was actually just there recently, actually this past Saturday. I saw a friend perform. My friend Dom's group Hey-Dude put on a pretty good show. The place they went to actually had a "way to complex for small indie bands" sound system, so this led to their technical difficulties in there first two songs. After that though, they really got into it, even though the crowd wasn't. Of course I shouldn't be one to speak, I was pretty out of it myself. I was tired and entirely way to distracted to really have been there. Still though, It was a good show.
Yeah, my fatigue really streamed from last Friday's... what's the word for it... experience. Went out to Red Bank bar hopping. Something that I rarely do... and haven't done in a while. It's ahrd to go into details to be honest. I remember most of it trust me, that's what makes it even harder. Maybe if I had drunken myself into a hole I wouldn't have been so melancholy this weekend. Still though, I shouldn't be negative about it. After a bit of meditation this weekend, it was a true moment of clarity. I never realized a few things about myself. One, I find the strangest, yet appropriately timed moments to be me... myself... Aldrich. I found that bit of self discovery shocking. Friday could have happened so differently for me, but they didn't. One would have called the end to last Friday an absolute disaster, but for me, no matter how trying or testing... it ended well. Not good, but well. Two, all those idiotic romantic ideals I have and hold... are a part of me more than I realized. When It mattered... I acted the gentleman I so idolized. I wish I could be it more. A dashing hero, that's the dream right? Something to revere? I don't know... Even being egged on... I was looking at my moment in the face, and I knew it wasn't right. I did what was right... I'm shocked at me. I didn't think I would. For whatever reason, It threw me back... it scared me... it confused me. Sounds weird right? I don't know how to explain it. I won't expose the juicy details. I wouldn't dare bring the concerned party into this... I'll air out my laundry, but no one elses. ...
I couldn't go on with that thought anymore. Yeah, I really want to talk about it, but in the end, this isn't the place to. Why keep the previous paragraph in then? It's a marker for my life. Something I'll look back and remember. Why in Public? This is something that always bothered my sister, the way I do this. I want to share it, because it shows what goes through my mind, it something I want to share. By now, those who still read this do so because they want to, they want to witness what I have seen. They want to, be a part of this. Sure a random stranger may read this, but they won't know the particulars. Is this a desperate plea for attention then? No, my intention is always to share what I have learned, leave something for someone to read and possibly dissect and analyze... maybe take away something worth learning. I guess that's the advantage i've built for myself with this journal. I know that most of those on my friends list no longer use LJ, or bother to read this anymore. Only a handful of people still do, a dwindling few who really find something to take from this. I want to be able to still share my thoughts and emotions like this, because it gives me a reason to keep writing. If I loose that, then I just keep reverting inward, something I don't want to do.
Yet, I don't think I've been doing that as of late. I've been far happier with things. I've had a will to be more outward, but far more selective about it. I never thought much about it, until today. This being the first nice day in a long while, I felt it right to walk out in the park.... the one I used to sit and ponder in so long. True I had much to think about, but when I got there. I took in the sights and sounds of nature. I was able to clear my mind. I was happy this time, unlike the last so many where I came in burdened and left sad. It was like a greater truth was revealed to me and then there was just a calm in my mind. That's rarely if ever happened during my walks in the park. It was wonderful. The only thing though, that pond in the park was once beautiful now... it's so stagnant, just like the city it's in.
I don't know why I brought that up. I guess I just don't ever want to be that pond. If I was ever that lifeless... so grimy because I couldn't move and change, I don't know what I'd do next. I guess that's part of the feeling of moving out... moving on. Heh, how hypocritical of me. Slighting that pond, for being never changing when I was the one who didn't let go. I'm so mad at myself for just being so... idealistic. Oh romance is so nice in dreams, but never practical in real life. It seems to be a running theme for me. I preach never regret, yet I've lived so long doing that. It so much easier to wax poetry when your on the outside looking in, but when your in the middle of it all... when I'm in the middle of it all, i'm speechless. I've been running, pretending, afraid to face what I feel.... Then it hit me square in the face and it all came out. Yet life has a poetic way of trying to teach you a lesson. All my emotion rushing out and she won't even remember it or will she? It doesn't matter, it just gave me such a moment of clairvoyance. I've always wanted to know what I felt inside was real. It was. Yet, I'm still the fool for it. I should have let it all go. I should have never let it become something. There I was... something I haven't been in so long... something I thought I'd never do... I was vulnerable. That's how I knew what I felt was true. Yet, That's when I knew I should have let it go. Move on... let go of the past. I want to say it's time to do that now. I know I should. I'm afraid I can't. I'm scared of what's next.
I never have to worry about this when I'm driving or playing video games or snowboarding. Just like two weeks ago, It's just me trying to conquer the mountain. Or like closet oa month ago, me just taking an Evo from first to 6th as fast as I can. I dont' have to think, I don't have to feel. I just have to do. I can just do. I can just drive. I can just shift from gear to gear and not worry about anything but Me and that car. I can just fly down that mountain and aside from smashing into someone, not worry about hurting or scaring others. That's the rush of those little weekend getaways. There isn't confusing emotions, just raw ones. I can let my mind drift, dream, forget. It's definitely another freeing experience. Then again, Snowboarding is tough. I don't think I'll be able to learn it, not after last adventure to Big Boulder mountain. I'm most likely going to try skiing next. I'm actually quite positive I can learn that. I've learned to blade and skate. I know how to balance myself on two pieces of blade. I just cannot understand how one can control one's self when both your feet are locked and there is no sense of true control. Your at the mercy of the board, and the best you can do is try to force a situation. Not on skates, your fall is your own undoing. You are in full control of the situation, you just have to be able to guide the situation. That's hardly the case when snowboarding. We'll see where that goes.
Wow, I'm surprised, I think that's most of what's happened to me in the last month. To be honest, it isn't much. It's nothing terribly exciting, but it's my own life. That's why it's so exciting and dramatic to me. It's what I feel, it's my experiences, it's my joys and tears. Recollecting it, not much has happened in a month, but to me, it's felt like an eternity. Well I wish I could tell you when I'm going to update next, but I"m uncertain. Life will drop the moment onto me. as of late, it's been a defining moment that's led me to write. And it just seems like it always has to do with... relationships... yeah that's the right word. My obsession with them. My unhealthy obsession with them. I don't know how else to describe it. It fascinates me. It leaves me in a quandary. I want to understand why people choose certain relationships and why they spurn others. The logical side of me knows that I nor anyone else will ever be able to truly understand why humans build the relationships they do. Yet... the undying analyst... the observer... the detective in me is unwilling to relent. You know, I think when I find that someone who can show me why I should give up, that's going to be a relationship to last a lifetime. Now how's that for waxing poetry at the right time. Terrible? no good? Sorry, the romantic in me had to be freed at that moment. What can i say, it's always fun writing in here, it gives my creative side a chance to dance and be free. It rarley gets a chance to show me tangibly what it can do. My imagination is usually trapped in the confides of my mind.
Before I go, If you haven't yet, you should watch the show Serenity, it's a well done TV show that was cut short well before it's due was done. Pick it up, it's worth it, trust me.
Ok, well time to say adieu. Until next time, Take care of yourself...
...See You Space Cowboy.
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I call
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| Tuesday, March 6th, 2007
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11:06 am - Me am Smrt.
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| Thursday, February 15th, 2007
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5:21 pm - More than a feeling...
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3 weeks. Damn, I really wanted to update earlier, but it's so hard with work and the like. To be honest, I haven't done much in the last three weeks except go snow boarding, so I guess I'll start there and see where things go.
Yeah three Saturday's ago, went snow boarding at Mountain Creek. My what an adventure. Woke up early (8 am to be precise) and get my stuff together while I waited for Bob and Justin to get to my house. Bob called me to tell me he would be a little late, which was cool. Justin did not however so I was a bit concerned, so I called him. Lucky me, me calling him basically gave him his wake up call. So... 9am rolls around and we finally organize and leave. Next was getting there. VZ Navigate is a great thing (it's Verizon's GPS/Navigation service that you can use through your phone.). The only thing is Uusually when Justin/VZ Navigate and I mix, we get mixed results. We decide to give it a go and give it another chance. So about an hour later we are approaching our destination. 2 Miles out, Justin gets this funny feeling we aren't at Mountain Creek. Funny enough he was right. So decide to check VZ navigate and see where we went wrong. Sure enough we were at the spot I told VZ navigate to be at IN MT VERNON NJ (Not Vernon). So an hour's worth of driving to correct my human error and we finally arrive at the Creek close to noon. Get our tickets and we head over to the bunny slopes to give me the 101 on Snow boarding (yes I have never snow boarded before, this was my first time). After about an hour and a half, I needed a break so I told Bob and Justin go do a run and come back and we'll see where we stand. In the mean time, I was hunting for my friend who was supposed to have been at the creek at 10am. Of course she's always late to things (and not by 5 minutes, but by like 5 hours) and sure enough she had just arrived at the creek maybe 1:30, 2pm. So after a bit of looking I find here and we say hi. She seemed eager to hit the slopes so I tell her just call me later or something (considering she was dying to hang out after snowboarding I left that line of communication open.) So she went to the bit tougher hill with this guy she was with and I just sat there and rested a bit more. Not 5 minutes later, Bob and Justin Call saying they were done with a run so I go meet them. I decide it's best to learn by being thrown into the fire, so we all went back up the mountain to do a green course run. I must say I thought I did terrible, but Justin and Bob said I did great for a first timer. I must have went down a few hundred yards before my body gave and I just had to stop. I probably did a 1/3 of the mountain before having to walk down it. This decision was made at about 4pm, so I lasted approximately 4 hours on the mountain. Again they said I did awesome, though I'm inclined to disagree. In any sense, it was fun and I do want to go again. I'd prefer to go to a much quieter mountain, one without as many people, so I have more room to work with and practice. The hardest part of being on the trail was avoiding people while controlling my speed. ACTUALLY the hardest part was getting up when you were down. I can't just pop my self up, let alone with a snowboard on my feet. I'm hoping next time I can get that down so I can make one complete run. It was a wake up call though, I definitely need to get my business in order so I can figure out a work out regiment.
It's good to get a wake up call every now and then. Sometimes, when you go unchallenged or unquestioned for too long, it builds an unhealthy ego (Though the opposite also leads to an unhealthy ego.). Sometimes it comes from the usual sources, other times it comes from the most unlikely of places. Those who care about you will give you this cold slap when you need it the most. You know, You'd think it sucks to get that, but honestly, it felt rather refreshing. As if you knew all that time, you just were in horrible denial. I'm glad some people are willing to step up and say what they need to to my face, knowing that people can be honest is also just as refreshing as being woken up.
In the spirit of rejuvenation, for the first time in a while, I didn't come into Valentine's day an awful depressive mess. I wasn't pining over any one or worried about being alone. Actually for the most part I spent the whole day reading and playing video games (With a little aside for some chess when I could.). I had a free day due to the snow, and the personal day I took. It was weird. It was like Valentine's Day was there, but I didn't know it existed. Then again for the first time in a while, I'm not pining over some girl or the need for some girl. Again a nice change of pace from the usual affair.
Other than that, not much else has been going on besides work. Just spend the weekends relaxing and hanging out with friends. I do what I can to enjoy, but because I just love to lay down and relax I don't make too much of a push to do a crazy weekend extravaganza. So that leads to a mostly boring past 3 weeks. What can I say, even though I have the free time, just a lack of motivation.
It's this lack of motivation though that really, just makes it harder and harder to write in my journal. I feel like there isn't any interesting to add or put in here. Maybe it's because I'm over thinking this along with everything else. It's who I am, I over think things a lot. I've been trying lately to stop playing all the lines and just doing something. Yeah, it's a huge road block into just feeling. What I mean to say is, I can't just be emotional sometimes cause I need just cause or a full understanding. Something like Love, hate, joy... I have to experience it with due cause. Granted I enjoy things more through this, I miss out on so much because of it as well. I lost out on a wonderful things because I had to have full understanding of the situations... of her... instead of just doing. Cest'la vie. That's part of wisdom and growing up. Next time I know better, life's too short... just do it.
Uggggg... Yeah this is all I have for now. Sorry for such a pathetic entry (though it's not long so I'm sure most of you are happy about that.). I'll try to update relatively soon next time. I'll leave you dear reader with this awesome super hero/heroine compatibility meme.
EDIT: FREAKING LINK DOESN'T WORK! well you loose out on viewers comic vine.
See you Space Cowboy...
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I call and there's 6 replies
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| Thursday, January 18th, 2007
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9:10 pm - But since you’ve been gone…
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My apologies, it’s been far too long since my last updated on my experiences, as opposed to the random news. That apology goes beyond just the lack of an update, but to the fact that this will more than likely be a long post and I have no plan to LJ cut. Again sorry for that. So October huh, I can’t believe it’s been that long. Some weeks I come in from work swearing to myself I’ll update and at least put a place marker of where things stand in my life. Far too often, I’m either too tired, to busy or just plain to distracted to write in here. It’s hard to just sit down and write for me, because of the lack of time I have now. Along with that, I hate to write something in here that is sub standard. It defeats the purpose of why I do this. Then again things have progressed so much in my life, this is loosing more and more of its purpose. I updated this as a way of indexing and relating my life. As I move on, it’s loosing that necessity. Though, I also use this as a way of expressing my ideas and feelings. It seems that that purpose still cannot be shed. It’s so hard to convey the experiences we behold, especially to deaf ears. How do you let it all out, months of events, when it’s hard to find someone who’s willing to discuss it so candidly and objectively? Wow, 3 months gone by and it just feels like nothing.
Over the past 3 Months or so, since my last post, I’ve done many things. Work is probably the biggest experience over the past 3 months. I’ve really filled into my job well. I’ve now a lot of responsibilities and I just started taking over my physical area of responsibility. I’m now in charge of designing new cell phone towers in Putnam, Rockland and Upper Westchester Counties in NY. So if you have a coverage issue or know of a good place where a cell phone tower can go up, I’d be the man to contact. That’s probably the most exciting thing so far to happen in work. Having that sense of ownership is empowering and electrifying. I still have many other responsibilities on top of that, so things can get crazy for me, but I’m sure I’ll find my groove. What I want to do next is Project Manage. If I can handle that on a corporate scale, I think I can seriously consider preparing for a management position of some kind. Of course, this is all plans for maybe 5-6 years down the line.
I should probably manage my way out of my house and into my own apartment. To be honest though, it’s more about money than anything. I still have a few debts to pay off, not including college loans. What I want to do first is to eliminate my Credit Card debt and then build better rainy day fund before I head out. Waiting for my first raise might also be the best bet. Once that’s in line, I move out, pay off the college loans, and then head back for my MBA (Though I shouldn’t worry about the money on this since Verizon is going to foot the bill). I don’t think I’ll get a roommate either when I move out. I’ve seen some friends try to run it, and I just don’t think it’s possible for me in my case. That’s not fair though, I can think of one candidate who I’m willing to attempt a roommate thing with. The combination of personality, responsibility and trust is a tough combination to find in a potential roommate. So that’s honestly been the scoop on work in the past 3 months.
Of course I’ve not thrown out my personal life just for work. It’s what keeps me sane. I still do the Pen and Paper RPG’s on Saturday’s, at first because I enjoyed them, but lately out of the fact there’s nothing to do Saturday nights. Not that they are boring now, but it’s been a bit stale as of late. Mark ran a fun Shadowrun campaign, but outside of that, the last few have been anywhere from slightly above average to mediocre. The one we ran over the summer was nice, though the ending was kind of bland. Honestly, I want to run one myself and see how interested I am after that. I think my interest in this is just waning to be honest. If you do the same thing all the time, it can get boring.
Of course, it’s not like I have any other options to go to. Yeah clubbing in the city at first seemed like an awesome alternative, but that feeling just seems to have seeped out of me. The money, the fatigue and the lack of any long term fulfillment just seems to deter me from making any serious effort to go to a club in the city. Maybe hitting up a lounge or hanging out with a different group of people is another option. Then again, outside of Bob/Albert and them, no one really makes a reach to hang out. In the end though, I just have this need for something more.
Honestly, I’ll tell you what, I’ve been missing intellectual Stimulation. I honestly think that’s the need that seems to be missing. I’ve been surrounded by crude humor and senseless jokes for a bit too long. The one thing I miss most about my deteriorating friendship with Jen Yu is the conversation and discussions we’d use to have. I can’t have it back anymore. I knew that once she had a boyfriend that would all be gone. A part of me wishes I was wrong, but I knew her and I knew what was to happen. What we had though was that ability to talk and discuss about the most critical situation, or just sit there and moo and bark at each other for 5 minutes. We just knew when to take each other seriously and when to have fun. I missed that, and it’s hard to find.
Some of my groups of friends don’t hold discussion so much as pissing contests. I won’t say I’m exonerated from this, because I can be stubborn, but I try my best to understand the other argument in a discussion. No, these people just have to be right for the sake of winning or being right. Christ, it just happened recently where one side said one thing and the other side said another. Instead of coming to some amicable solution or at least a resolve of what was being discussed, they just went at it as if there was going to be a prize for winning (which it may have come to, at least in the form of a bet, which would have been a ridiculous outcome to say the least.).
Then there’s the group that wishes not to have an opinion, either because they don’t want to discuss anything or lack any true passion. It’s as if they assume a discussion will lead to bickering and fighting. Granted, some topics lead to flaring tempers, but I’ll say this, it at least shows conviction. There are different degrees of discussion as well and sometimes raised voice come about because of the inner passion at work. It doesn’t mean every discussion will lead to that. Why be afraid of it though? I take myself as a reasonable man, and even if I’m angry or upset, I’ll at least know when to stop, or stop if told to. I’d rather deal with that as opposed to someone who just doesn’t want to get anywhere. By discussing something we exchange ideas and come to a greater resolve. Wisdom and knowledge cannot be shared if you refuse to share. Alas, some people fear conflict… to the point of a fault.
Then there is the group who fakes their way into conversation. What I mean is they wish to try, but they just go with a blurb they read and roll with it. Granted I don’t detest this group too much, because they at least make an effort. They want to be in the know. I’ll say some of them need to work on their discussion techniques. Still though, the nice thing about this group is that there is potential. I just wish they would catch up. It would be a nice challenge to my inner intellect.
I never realized how draining it was not to be able to put my intellect on the block and on the line. Not being able to discuss the news, hot topics or great possibilities is detrimental to me. Loosing Jen or having friends like Jared that live too far away, makes it harder and harder. I want to find others who share my passion for knowledge or culture, but I just don’t want to be thrust into such a situation. Discussing things such as politics requires a certain amount of trust and compassion. Knowing how to respect the other is a rare quality and something that can sometimes only built over time and understanding. Sometimes, said groups are really pissing contests in disguise. I want it to be enriching as opposed to enraging. Loosing all this is not killing me, but it’s defiantly affecting me.
This just all reminds me of 4 months, when I lost my opportunity, it’s never been clearer how much I did love her. She meant a lot to me and for a time I know I meant something, maybe not everything, but something to her. In the end, I’ve still been playing the What-If Game. I thought it would stop, but I always want to know, I have to know. It’s who I am. A fatal flaw if you will. Personally, that’s why I feel loved her. I couldn’t figure it out for a bit, did I feel something for her, was it infatuation? Now more than ever, I know I lost out on a good thing. Yeah yeah, all you supportive guys and gals out there will say she’s the one missing out on me, but it’s my own fault for being responsible. How is that? Well, I told my self, I couldn’t do anything more with her till I was graduated and a little more settled with my life. Once I knew things could be stable, I could at least talk to her about it. Well, 2 weeks before I started work, she gets together with some guy she was fawning over since Christmas. Yeah maybe I was better off. I hate bring back old wounds like this, but it’s hard. When you care about some one like this, and it’s all just being thrown away, it’s not easy to just give up on it. Still though, even though I have this lingering effect, I’ve definitely moved on to other things.
Yeah, I’ve tried moving on. I actually was trying to meet up with this girl last week. First on Wednesday… where Cingular dropper her call… 3 times and then on Friday, where Cingular dropped her call, again. Yeah, it was a depressing experience. Trying to talk it up to a girl and then having the call go is a sad sight. Should turn it into a Verizon commercial. Real life stories on the road. I guess I’ll give you the story. So Wednesday, I call her right after work. We are talking, I’m asking her if she wants to get 5 dollar burgers with the bunch of my friends and I, and she’s interested. She had to go see one of her friends first but she said she’ll call me back. So then I ask her for her AIM name, and as she just tells me, I hear what sounds like a landline hang up tone. This is something you don’t hear on a cell phone. In any sense, I call her back, and I get no ring through tone… just echo. As in my voice echoing back to me. Well I give her one more chance, and this time I get Cingular Voicemail access… not the one to leave a voicemail but one to retrieve ones voicemail. At this Point I gave up, but then I get a text from her almost immediately after I ended that last call explaining she is in a bad service area. So I shrugged it off. She ended up not being able to hang out later that day. In any sense, Friday rolls around and I call her to see what’s up. Maybe make up for the debacle on Wednesday. I call; we talk, as she’s telling me her plans… bam dropped. Give a call back, and I get the echo. I’m defeated at this point, though she texts me back, again saying poor coverage. Funny part is I know this is possible because of Cingular’s terrible coverage issue. So oh well, I tried once again for Sunday, but though she showed interest, she got hammered Saturday; she was way too trashed to hang Sunday. So why all the pressure? Well she was going back to school Monday, so I had little time to do anything about it. That’s why so many attempts to see her in such little time.
Yeah I’m not desperate, don’t worry. I was actually confused if I should just let her go or make a play for her. Funny enough, some people I really trust with help really gave me some conservative advice, where as two of my other friends gave me some aggressive but good advice, and I ended up listening to the aggressive advice. I don’t regret it. That girl and I have talked once since the weekend, so it’s not like she’s trying to avoid me (I hope =P). I’m looking for something, maybe a little too specific, but I won’t lower my standards out of fear. If I give into the fear, then I’ll be owned by it. I must be in control of my destiny.
All of these ideas, I should at least talk about what has happened in the last few months from a more specific stand point. In October, not much had happened. It was mostly work to be honest. I made a few paintball trips that month, but nothing major. November, which was much of the same. Thanksgiving I wanted to update here, but I was just so tired and fatigued. Along with that, I got the Wii, and I have been playing that a lot. Need to finish Red Steel still. Far along in that. Also just got Wario Ware: Smooth Moves, which is a hoot. Outside of that November was really stale.
December was a bit more hectic. A rush to grab presents was probably one of the key things. I had to throw it all together pretty quickly, and I certainly wasn’t prepared this year to handle the rush. Alex came back from her semester in England. We subsequently threw her a surprise party to welcome her back. She enjoyed it and that was an insane night of fun. Christmas was quiet, spent that with my family, the same went for New Years. January rolled around, and the only exciting thing that has happened this month was the trip to NYC 2 weeks ago, when we rushed down three theatres for show tickets. We picked up 4, 1 short of the 5 we wanted for the 5 of us who went. It was awesome though, I saw Rent again, with Alex, while Sam and Brennard saw Avenue Q.
All in all the past few months have been a quite stream of hanging with Bob, Albert, Dana, Phi and whoever else shows up on Fridays then RPG on Saturdays. Maybe in this New Year I’ll break that. Who knows? Honestly, I’m in no rush to do much of anything right now till I move out. That’s the focus of it all. Even some of the guys at work want to live it up, but I think I’m on past that. I just want to get things settled and then focus on other ventures. I know I’ve said it before, but, it’s important to me. I want to be ready… ready for the things that are important to me. I’ve missed out on far too much, and I don’t want it to happen anymore. Unfortunately, it means saying good bye to certain things, but I’m not scared. I’m ready to move on to what’s next.
I’ll update more, I can’t promise, but I’ll try (yeah inserting Yoda remark here). If anything I feel better now having done this. I feel a little more relieved and open now. I let something’s that have bothered me for a while, out. Of course, that isn’t all that truly helpful because I’m still left with only the answers I have come up with in my own mind. I can’t be picky on this; it’s the best I have to get right now. I’m sure a new relief will show it self. I’m receiving interesting help from the freshest of places. Well, here’s to next time. Hopefully I’ll have more stories to share, or ideas to put in. I’ll try to make next time not to far away… I hope.
See you space cowboy…
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I call and there's 6 replies
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| Friday, December 22nd, 2006
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1:21 pm
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this post was from my wii. how awesome
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I call
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| Monday, November 20th, 2006
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6:49 pm - Wii codes please
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My Wii Code is 8536 5370 2205 7986 what is yours please?
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I call and there's 2 replies
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| Tuesday, November 14th, 2006
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9:37 pm - Time to drive up the Page Rank Hits.... =P
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In an effort to garner more attention.... I mean bring you the information you want, I presents www.nexgenwars.com 's very own Console count. At the top of my personal page (soon to follow friends page when I get around to it.) is a count of approximately (via sales projections and updates of massive movement in units) how many Next Gen Systems have been sold. I've placed them not in numerical order, nor percentage of market, but by personal preference. So If you ever get bored. Come back to http://rebelpilot.livejournal.com and see where your favorite (or if you have no favorite, just general information gathering) system stands. Suggestions, comments welcome. I'm going to continue to improve my Livejournal to make it more welcoming and entertaining. Once I figure out how to format a video well int hsi thing and place it, I'll have a welcome video up next.
Well Enjoy.
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I call and there's 8 replies
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| Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
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6:57 am - Go Vote Please
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I planned on drawing up the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, and some of Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson's correspondences to each other and several people. Of course I was also fucking tired last night and passed out, so I'll try to sum it up since I have about 2 seconds before I have to leave to go vote and still try to make it in time to work.
Look some of you think its' useless to vote, and as much as I want to tell you otherwise, voting in the end is not our right, but responsibility as dictated by the Constitution and Mr Jefferson's Ideals. Via voting, you are dictating how the government should run and you voice what your opinion is on the matters. Even in a loss by the candidate of your choosing, others may agree with you, and it will begin to show a trend of dissension. Your vote's power may not happen immediatley, but it shows what the future beholds, and with a presidential elections coming in two years, now is the time to show change. How is it a responsibility, not a right? By not partaking in the election your not showing your voice, and your will, which maybe be a part of a larger will. Even if you vote for one of the independent parties, consider this. Others may agree with you and vote that as well. If an election is won by the major parties still, but a huge number of people voted for a third party, it may show strength in the idea that the two major parties are failing your area.
In the end though, if you complete your responsibility, it gives you the right about how we shouldn't be in Iraq, how Us in NJ got fucked by the lies of lowering property tax, but needing to increase Sales tax (vis-a-vie, I was for the sales tax increase as long as property tax dropped, cause I'm looking for a house in the near future.), and how the other 49% who voted for Bush are complete retards for re-electing a man who accomplished nothing in his first term. If you dn't vote and complain abotu said previous, you have no right to. By not completing a Civic duty, you have no right to have a serious complaint in the Civics you've negelected, no matter at what level...
...Unless you like being a arm-chair quarterback, but still you have no right too. You sat idly by and let shit happened around you and just did nothing but talk, no action to back it up. Think about that.
So if your a US citizen, please vote.
Comments are open for you to flame me, but be prepared for a battle. I swear to god you better have good backing, otherwise it's game on. I've taken way too many politics class to sit here and let things not happen.
Ok time to vote cya.
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I call and there's 18 replies
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